May 2013
90 posts
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Well after 3 weeks and an awkward conversation about microwave vegetables mick has finished and is gone! I’m so happy.
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Isn’t masturbation great? I mean one minute you’re a sweaty mess awaiting disappointment and the next minute you’ve got web on your hands and you’re Spiderman.
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GUESS WHO GOT A PURPLE.
Me.
The review thingy went well good and I was basically told that I’m awesome for 15 minutes, and that I’m a hard worker and handsome and great with customers and that I boost everyone’s morale when I’m around and really just lots of nice things which was lovely and overwhelming all that once ahh.
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Ooooooh! I’ve got my first ever yearly performance review thingy at work tonight and WELL apparently we get ranked on these colours so red means seriously why the fuck are you still employed with us, amber means ehhh you’re ok but still a fuckhead, green means yeh ur alrite but PURPLE! OH MAN PURPLE means my balls will get sucked or something.
Here’s hoping I smash it and get...
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I don’t have that red dress with the hearts on.
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People being racist and people complaining about people being racist. Let’s all stop this internet hubbub and realise that DECAPITATING PEOPLE IS BAD.
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Mum wants me to get an application form for my little sister so she could work at the cinema too. I can feel my cred crumbling right now.
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so people know when you screenshot their pictures on snapchat???????? hahahahaha i can’t believe it someone just told me that and i totally just didn’t find out the hard way hahahahah oh no
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Today has been the first day in 2 weeks where I’ve not had any fizzy drinks. Well I had a swig of Coke that was in the fridge but that was only a swig I mean I could’ve had a swig of murder and nobody would care.
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Oh man Rosie’s asked if we could have pizza tomorrow everyday for the last week and tomorrow is 2fortuesdays and i also got an email from domino’s waving a BUY ONE GET ONE FOR A QUID (BOGOFAQ doesn’t roll off the tongue as good as BOGOF)
All signs are pointing to pizza and I’m completely okay with this
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Oh man am I a collection of sads today.
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Only a day into getting Snapchat and already I’ve sent a picture of me on the loo. teehee (p.s add me my thingyname is adzybabyii I thought the ii’s would’ve been cooler looking II but nope now it just looks silly)
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Criminal Minds is silly. Some guy’s daughters have gone missing and he’s all like I’VE LOST MY GIRLS but then a year ago he was all like I’VE LOST MY WIFE and its like jeez guy just change your locks or something
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Seriously though that guy complaining with the “so filthy i drank someone else’s drink” line was just the tip of the iceberg from moany shits yesterday. There were also 4 other complaints made, 1 which accused one of the supervisors of being RACIST because she wouldn’t give them a refund, and one woman who shouted at another supervisor because we were still cleaning the...
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I’m starting to become self aware about taking the dog for walkies because I listen to music the whole time at a volume that blocks out all of the outside world and I just turn into this funky husk who struts and dances across the pavement who thinks all this graceful rhythmic spasms makes every lady in their car get so uncontrollable hot under the collar for me that they wish they could get...
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At work today some guy complained that the screen he was in was so filthy that he drank someone else’s drink so I just stared at him blankly before responding with “well you didn’t need to do that” and he huffed and walked away.
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Oh jeez today is the first day I’m on ushering since I got my haircut and WELP I AM SCARED. My hair has suffered the curse of being shit due to an overload of wax and lack of skills in my hands to get it looking swish and well now I’m afraid everybody’s going to see it for how it is and throw up everywhere and possibly start riots and end up getting fired in the midst of this...
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So there’s this girl at work who’s been taking part in Essex Factor and apparently the final was this weekend and she was hyping it up and all that lark but suddenly out of the blue she said it wasn’t on anymore due to “safety concerns” and I was curious as to what the concern for safety was and
jesus
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One guy I grew up and was best mates with is now a DAD and it is weird. Not only because he’s 19 and hasn’t got a job or anything like that but mostly because he’s one of those people who’s just that bit too much into horror films and the mother is his schizophrenic girlfriend and ya know that’s just weird, I feel bad for the baby.
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Ok so I didn’t allow my abstinence from the new QOTSA album to last too long but I am so glad I’m such a feeble human. It’s incredible. It’s completely different but still sounds the same in some parts, and while the fast paced rock n roll is used sparingly the slow paced majority retains a lot of the dark vibes we’ve been getting since Rated R, making it an...
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Goodness me it’s not even been that long and already I’m beginning to cave in and just download it. MY BALLS ARE HURTING FROM THE TEMPTATION. It’s like this unholy forbidden hurt and for some reason I’m getting thoughts about fucking it.
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ok so the new qotsa album has leaked and is available to enjoy but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh i shouldn’t download it i should wait for june 3rd when the deluxe lp arrives at my house but my god IT’S NEARLY A MONTH OF WAITING.
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On Time Team today the farmer bloke has found a hole and now tony robinson’s fisting it. Gonna have to put a pillow over my lap right now.
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Ok I can’t resist the urge anymore I’m ordering an adventure time duvet
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Millie has mastered the “piss and walk” technique. I’m so proud
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I had a dream that i kept hearing a new song by mariah carey everywhere i went and everytime it finished someone would say to me “well at least mariah carey’s still pretty big in canada”
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Watch
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Rosie thought it’d be funny if we put on some bronzer. She’s gonna get a brown foot and elbow and my finger’s gonna look like I’ve been excavating my bumhole.
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PAYDAY
payday is a glorious pile of wonderful and oh whats that i hear oh it’s the pre-order deluxe vinyl edition of the new queens of the stone age album yes i shall purchase you baby come to me
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A Traveller called me a nerd today when I said I thought Star Trek looked “alright” :((((((((
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oh jeez I shouldn’t be listening to Rasputin so much I’m gonna be springing all over the stand today
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Downloaded Random Access Memories and oh my goodness me my balls are dancing
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Some woman’s been sick and i gave her some water and rubbed her back cos i thought you get given HM01 Cut for doing that but clearly not she’s not on the SS ANNE and she’s probably not a sea captain either silly me
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Just farted so hard i peed a little bit
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I’ve had barely any sleep and Mick and now his mate are taking up the kitchen again which means I’ve no dinner and I’ve got a mate from work who’s autistic and going through a bad time texting me jokes about a thief stealing tshirts who’s still at large and arrrrrrjkfysslsljkjkjrjg why did I agree to swap shifts :( i just wanna eat food and sleep
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Oh jeez some guy from work just asked me if I was working Thursday and then asked if I was free on wednesday and I’m gonna be honest I’m feeling a little on the quirk so I replied with “I am but I might be busay eating pussay!” and now i hate myself
